“Your Only Job Is to Get Really Clear About What You Want”

I went to an event earlier this month that touched me in a really powerful way.

It was a networking event, and another life coach spoke on setting goals and putting plans into action.

My biggest take-away from her speech was this:

YOUR ONLY JOB IS TO GET REALLY CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.

It was a such a good reminder to me about how simple it is to create a life we love – as simple as asking ourselves “What do I want?” and “What would I love?!” and then coming from that place as we move forward and take action in our lives.

Of course, just because something is simple doesn’t mean it’s easy.

If you identify as a people pleaser and perfectionist, chances are that you tend to experience a lot of guilt and shame when it comes to wanting.

It wasn’t always this way, of course.

As kids, we all lived with our hearts wide open. We knew what we wanted and we communicated that, though perhaps not always in a way preferred by the adults in our lives. 😉 Lol.

But then, as time went on, we adopted beliefs, fears, culture, experience, and so on that got in the way of wanting being easy for us.

Here’s some examples of things we may believe about wanting:

1️⃣ Wanting is scary. There’s no guarantee I’ll get what I want or be able to make it happen.

2️⃣ I shouldn’t want.

… Wanting is “selfish.”

… Wanting is indulgent or “childish.”

… Wanting is ungrateful. I should be more grateful for what I have.

3️⃣ If I want something, I need to be able to justify it somehow.

4️⃣ I never get what I want.

5️⃣ I don’t know what I want.

These limiting beliefs can keep us from wanting or make it hard for us to want.

When we clear out the beliefs we have about wanting that aren’t helping us, we open the door for being able to want more, which leads to us creating more of what we want in our lives. And who doesn’t want that?!

This process also helps us connect more with ourselves and our own hearts. In my opinion, that’s all any of us really wants, anyways. Everything comes back to how we feel.

But I digress.

For now, I want you to take away just one simple thing – and that is this…

“An important part of having what we want is knowing what we want and learning to want. Wanting is the magic!!” – Molly Claire

Let’s repeat that last bit…

WANTING is the magic.

When we create our lives from a place of being grounded and centered in what we truly want – that’s when we have alignment and steady momentum to move us forward.

That’s when we create what we WANT in our lives.

I can’t wait to share more with you on this topic. Until then, notice how you feel about wanting.

What comes up for you?

I’d love to hear.

💕 Deise

Do you struggle with wanting? With knowing what you want, or doing what you want, or feeling like you should or shouldn’t want this or that?

I know the struggle. My brain on default leans toward perfectionist and people pleasing mindsets that having me doing things I think I should want… and then beating myself up for not doing them. Which is why it is so important for me to be the watcher of my brain and decide on purpose who I want to be and how I want to show up in my life.

Coaching has transformed my life because I have tools (and coaches!!) to support me in getting clarity about what I want, to connect with myself more – my own heart and my own voice, and to unpack all the guilt and shame that gets in the way of me being able to align with and do what it is that I really want to do. To want what I want and really give myself permission to be all in on that.

I LITERALLY physically made myself sick last year working through some of these mindsets. I was sick more last year than I have been in YEARS before that. It was not always easy. But dang, was it worth it. My growth has been explosive the past year (and even just the past month!!).

I love my life so much more than I even did before.

Course that doesn’t mean I love every little thing in my life 100%. But I keep raising the water level of where my average vibe lies.

Working with coaches I love has made all the difference. I get coached at a minimum of twice a week (sometimes more!!) and I do my own coaching.

I used to think change takes forever… turns out that was only the only case when I believed I needed to be able to figure it out all on my own… too ashamed to ask for help. 

Having outside, loving perspective is powerful.

If you relate to any of this, please know that you do not need to figure it out all on your own.

Your “secrets” are not shameful, and neither are you. And, it is SO. MUCH. MORE. FUN. to make the changes you want when you don’t have to do it all alone and when you are working with a coach (or two!) you love (or any other person you choose to help support you!!).

Would you love to work with me?!

Chances are I’d love to work with you, too. 😉

There is no way to no for sure if we’re a fit without getting on a call to talk about what you want and how I can help you – and answer any questions you have.

Take the first step. Move through that fear. Give yourself the gift of support beyond yourself.

All the love and joy you crave starts in creating a magnetic relationship with YOURSELF.

Of course, it doesn’t end there. The more you trust you have your own back and know that nobody can hurt you emotionally but you… the more you realize you can handle any emotion… the more you LOVE being in your own body… the more you are willing to put yourself out there to do the “scary” things, and the more you can open your heart to the world and express yourself in the way you most deeply desire.

Start with YOU. So you can connect with and follow your own heart. Whatever that looks like for YOU.

“It takes courage to grow up and be who you REALLY are.” E.E. Cummings.

That’s been one of my favorite quotes for years.

We’re always going to have fears. Courage helps us move through them and act from what we WANT instead of from what we fear.

And, when we act from what we WANT… we create what we want.

It feels like magic, but it’s not. 😉

When you’re ready, book a free consult here: bookme.name/coachingwithdeise/free-consult.

See you there!!

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Do You Ever Feel Like You’re Broken?

I’ve been thinking lately about the idea of wholeness… in part because of a book I started reading (“The Soul of Money”) and in part because of this quote, “We’re all broken; that’s how the light gets in.”

I used to love that quote… back when I believed I was broken.

Now?

Now it doesn’t sit well with me.

It doesn’t serve me to believe I’m broken.

So, here’s what I choose to believe instead…

That we are all whole.

That not even one person is broken.

That the light doesn’t need to get in… because it is always already WITHIN.

And we don’t need to be broken for the light to get out, either.

The more connected we are to ourselves, the brighter the light just GLOWS.

From the INSIDE out.

It lights us up and has us experiencing our lives more and more with that sense of wholeness that we ALREADY are.

As the light glows brighter, it is naturally shared with others.

Feeling broken doesn’t mean we are actually broken. It simply means we aren’t connected to the wholeness that we already are.

You are worthy and whole, no matter what my friend.

NO. MATTER. WHAT.

You already have all the light you need within you.  The trick is in letting it OUT.

And the secret ingredient?

The secret ingredient is always love.

What walls do you have around your heart that are BLOCKING your light and your love from being expressed in the way that you desire?

What fears are holding you back?

And what would it be like if you didn’t have to work so hard to protect that big, beautiful heart of yours?

For years, my password to almost everything was some variation of the word “Heartbroken” – even when I otherwise seemed “happy” and in love.

We may genuinely think we are broken sometimes.  

We may genuinely believe that there is something wrong with us or that we are not enough or that we are broken.  

We may feel the pain of these things so deeply that they must be true…

But thinking these things are true doesn’t mean they are actually true.

We experience these things as true ONLY when we believe them to be true.

NOT because they are actually true.

I absolutely love this little graphic from Danielle LaPorte, because it so clearly illustrates how what we believe about ourselves affects what else we think, feel, and do in our lives.  

I invite you to take two minutes today to do this exercise for yourself and then choose consciously – on purpose – how you want to think about yourself going forward.

Notice how what you believe about yourself affects how you show up and how you experience your life.

Are you broken?

Or are you whole?

You get to decide – no matter what I or anyone else thinks.

Your opinion of you is the only one that really matters.

I invite you to see yourself as WHOLE. No matter what. Exactly as you are.

And then, I invite you to shine YOUR light, from the INSIDE out.

Little by little.

Because YOU matter!!

And because LOVE feels amazing. 🥰

💕 Deise

P.S.  This doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy basking in the light of others.  It just means we don’t NEED something outside of us to make us whole. 

P.P.S. The work that I do is all about helping moms see themselves as complete and whole, exactly as they are.  

It’s about helping moms tap into their sufficiency and the power they already have within them, so that they can create a life that is fueled primarily by love and passion, rather than being fueled mostly by stress, pressure, and overwhelm. 

This inner work is so important, because it impacts literally every other area of our lives, including our relationships with our husband and kids (and others!!), our physical health, our ability to have fun in life, and the way we spend our time.  

Seeing ourselves as whole and living from a place of sufficiency allows us to create so much more of what we truly desire in our lives… and to feel as good about it on the inside as it looks on the outside.

If we want to deepen our connection with others and expand our impact, we must first deepen our connection with ourselves.

I can help you with this.  Simply click here to send me a message with any questions you have and I’ll get right back to you.

When you’re ready to take this work to the next level, simply click the button below to learn more about what it would be like to work with me as your private 1:1 coach.

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Recipe of the Week: Instant Pot Turkey Chili

Hello my beautiful friends!!

I jumped on the Instant Pot band wagon a month or two ago and have been trying out new recipes here and there.

My favorite new recipe from this past week is Instant Pot Turkey Chili.  

Super tasty, easy to make, and everyone in my family loved it (including ALL three of my littles!) – leftovers were completely devoured – so of course I want to share how I made it with you (and save it here for myself for later!).

I imagine you could just as easily make this on the stove top in the event you don’t have an Instant Pot.  😉

Enjoy!!

💕 Deise

Instant Pot Turkey Chili

Original Recipe from Karen at 365 Days of Slow Cooking and Pressure Cooking

Ingredients
  • 1 1/2 tsp chili powder
  • 1 1/2 tsp cumin
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp pepper
  • 1/4 tsp garlic powder

Toppings:

  • green onions, diced
  • cheddar cheese, grated 

On the Side:

Instructions
  1. Turn your Instant Pot to the saute setting.  Add in the ground turkey and break it up.  Brown it for a couple of minutes and then add in the onions and garlic.  Saute until the onions are translucent; about 5 minutes.  Drain off grease.
  2. Add in the broth, bell pepper, crushed tomatoes, diced tomatoes, tomato paste, beans, corn, chili powder, cumin, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.
  3. Cover and secure the lid.  Make sure valve is set to “sealing.”  Set the manual pressure cook button to 5 minutes on high pressure.  When the timer beeps, let the pressure release naturally for 10 minutes (or more, if you have time).  Move the valve to venting and when you can, open the pot.
  4. Stir the chili and then season to taste; you may want to add in more chili powder, cumin, salt, and/or pepper.
  5. Ladle into bowls and serve topped with desired toppings / sides.  Store leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge for up to a week or freeze in airtight containers for up to 3 months.

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Start With What You Know

So I decided to join my sister‘s fitness group that starts next week.

I’m in a bit of indecision over what I am committing to workout wise right now. 😆 So I’m starting with what I know. 🙃

I know I’m super interested in and wanting to do Barre Blend.

I already purchased the VIP access for it. And I started checking it out today.

Now to decide what I really want to do, work through any doubts and perfectionist fantasies about it, and get clear on what my minimum baseline is for myself. 😆

Fear and doubt don’t mean something has gone wrong or that we shouldn’t do something. Quite the opposite actually. They are indicators that we are asking ourselves to step out of our comfort zones and expand them.

Still, it is useful to pause and make sure we like our reasons for what we are doing (or not doing!) before diving in head first.

At least, I think so. 😆

What we think we really want may not be what we actually want. And it is powerful to get clear on that.

But I digress.

I made it through a couple getting started videos, including Establish Your Space and the ~20 min Ballet Terminology today.

It all left me feeling very graceful and elegant. 😆💃 Lol!

I’m also really loving the affirmation for today…

I AM EXPANSIVE.💥

Just thinking that fills me with a sense of expansion and abundance.

Like an open heart kind of feeling.

LOVE it.

How are you feeling today?

I’m asking because I genuinely want to know.  I’d really love to hear from you.

You can message me here.

💕 Deise

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