“Around here…we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” Walt Disney
The topic of failure is on my brain today.
It started this morning, around 6 AM, with 20 mins of self coaching, pondering thoughts that are holding me back when it comes to my desire to wake up earlier in the morning.
“I won’t be able to do it.”
“It’s not going to happen.”
And, “It won’t matter anyway.” “It’s not going to make a difference.”
It’s fascinating to think about how many times these thoughts are offered to me by my brain.
They are so subtle, and yet, when we believe thoughts like these, they are so devastating for our goals and dreams.
When I believe these thoughts to be true, I feel hopeless, apathetic, and abdicated.
>> Hopeless: having no expectation of good or success.
>> Apathetic: showing or feeling no interest, enthusiasm, or concern.
>> Abdicated: fail to fulfill or undertake a responsibility or duty; renounce one’s throne (aka, give away one’s power!).
So fun. 😂 #not
And these feelings?
When I’m acting from these feelings (as opposed to allowing them and otherwise pausing the models they would create), I’m not taking any kind of useful action.
I might stay up later than planned, dragging my feet getting to bed. When my alarm goes off in the morning, I’m more likely to just hit snooze until my kids get me out of bed. And once out of bed, I’m probably going to be moving a bit sluggishly, perhaps even dreading things to be done during the day. I’ll skip over doing things that I pre-determined are important to my goals, telling myself “it’s not a big deal” and “I can do it later.” And later probably won’t happen.
And, of course, when I take these actions, I’m failing ahead of time.
Failing before I even begin.
Not even giving myself a chance to see what I am capable of or what might be possible.
Now really notice what happens here.
I think some thoughts that make me feel something, AND THEN I take actions that create evidence for the initial thoughts…AND THEN use that evidence against myself, as even more reason why “I was right” and why “I can’t do it.” Perhaps not even noticing that the reason “I’m right” and the reason why “I can’t do it” is because I had those thoughts in the first place and made a decision (conscious or unconscious) to believe them and play them out.
I’ve taken this path many times.
I saw myself wanting to take that road again this morning, but I was on to myself. I know thoughts are choices, and I had the courage to make a different choice than what my brain wanted to make by default.
Often, it takes courage to make a different choice.
It takes courage to challenge our beliefs…to prove ourselves wrong when it comes to thoughts that aren’t creating what we want…to choose something that is more useful in helping us create the kind of life we want to create.
The thought I chose this morning to focus on?
“I can create evidence that I can do it.”
As I thought about that, I was left feeling curious and intrigued.
>> Curious: eager to learn or know something.
>> Intrigued: arouse the curiosity or interest of; fascinate; appeal strongly for; captivate.
Ah! So much better!! 🙃
From this place, I saw myself asking the question, “How can I create evidence that I can do it?!” I saw myself wanting to pay closer attention to my calendar and follow through as much as possible. Wanting to work on that earlier bedtime and wake time. Wanting to make sure important self-care tasks like my daily self coaching are happening. Wanting to come on FB more to share tips and tools that help other moms. I saw myself thinking about how to make my goals possible, and then going and doing the aforementioned things.
And you know what’s crazy?!
When I do these things from this energy, I make my goals more possible. I believe more and more that what I want to create is in fact possible – that I can figure it out and that I can do it.
Not because of who I am as a person or what I’m inherently capable of or not. Simply because I’m executing different thoughts in my brain.
But, it didn’t stop there.
This morning, during breakfast, I listened to a podcast from The Life Coach School on failure tolerance and the importance of raising our tolerance for failure. How failure moves us forward. How important it is to be willing to make decisions and just keep trying different things (aka, massive action) until we create our desired result. How being indecisive and not wanting to make decisions is really about not wanting to fail and just failing ahead of time – keeping ourselves stuck in stagnation.
Then, later this morning, because it’s raining here today, my hubby and I decided we wanted to watch a movie with the boys.
While I finished getting ready, my husband picked a movie, “Meet the Robinsons.”
I’d never seen it before, and was fascinated that the show he happened to pick was centered around the topic of failure. Celebrating failure. Letting the past go. Moving forward. Choosing failure over stagnation.
AH! So good my friends.
Be willing to fail.
Be willing to try and try and try and try and TRY again and again until you create the result you want.
It’s worth it.
The past means nothing about what you are capable of today and in your future.
So, let it go.
Let it roll right off your shoulder.
And KEEP. MOVING. FORWARD.
For as long as it takes.
And if you want some help with this, reach out!
Message me with questions, or, to take it to the next level, book a free consult with me and explore if coaching with me is a fit for YOU.
Coaching is like the cell phone you never knew you needed…until you got one and experienced all the benefits…and then you can’t possibly live without it.
At least, that was me. I resisted getting a cell phone for the longest time because “I didn’t need one.”
Boy, was I ever wrong about that!!
Same with coaching. Resisted paying for coaching for years.
Only when I was willing to invest in myself and create space for me to discover myself and what I truly wanted and learn how to go after that did I finally start to break the repeating patterns I was in.
In both cases, I was left wondering why I waited so long.
But, don’t take my word for it.
Find a coach who resonates with you, commit to YOURSELF and the life you want to live, and start failing your way to success. 😉
Don’t wait until “later.”
Make later happen NOW.
Have a beautiful weekend my friends!!
P.S. If you love music like me, play some “Little Wonders” by Rob Thomas today!