This week, I started reading a book called “Better Than Perfect,” by Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo.
Here’s a quote that I read from this book recently that has been on my mind:
Perfectionists are more motivated by fear than they are motivated by the prospect of fun, especially fear of failure and being seen negatively by others. Their focus tends to be on how not to fail. The result is an internal concentration on self-judgments, like “What am I doing wrong?” and “What should I be doing?” rather than “What am I doing right?” and “What do I want to be doing?”From “Better Than Perfect,” by Dr. Eliazbeth Lombardo
As I read this, I couldn’t help but think about how much of my life has been run by those first two questions.
And I love thinking about this, because with coaching, their is an emphasis on the importance of paying attention to the questions we are asking ourselves (because the brain loves to find an answer to whatever question we are asking, whether the answers serve us or not!), and then making sure we are asking ourselves useful, powerful questions.
Next time you find yourself spinning out in feeling like you did something wrong or wondering if you should be doing something differently than you are…
I invite you to consider that maybe there is no “best” way.
That maybe there are lots of right answers.
That maybe no particular answer is inherently right or wrong.
That maybe you just get to decide what’s best for you.
What are you doing right?
And what do you want to be doing?