Relationships Are Thoughts

We think our relationships are dependent on how someone else behaves, but really, our relationship with someone is dependent on our expectations of them and how well we think they meet our expectations.

“We have so many rules for our relationships that we have stopped experiencing them and are locked into our expectations of how these relationships should be instead.” Brooke Castillo

Ultimately, the relationship we experience with another person is simply the thoughts we have about that other person.  This affects how *we* feel in the relationship and how *we* show up in the relationship.  

If we want to improve our relationships, it’s imperative we shift our focus from what we can’t control (the other person) to what we can control (ourselves) and raise awareness around how our thoughts about the other person are affecting the way WE show up in the relationship.  

Then, we get to decide on purpose if that is how we want to keep showing up or not, regardless of what the other person does or doesn’t do.

Doing this work helps us move from what is known as “emotional childhood” into “emotional adulthood” – taking responsibility for what is ours and leading in our own lives.  Of course, this up-levels the quality of our relationships and overall life experience, too.

Tune in below to learn more!

💕 Deise


P.S. Looking for a casual, safe place to learn more, apply what is taught here, and ask questions?  

Check out my Facebook Events page for upcoming free workshops.  Would love to see you there!



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  • What a relationship is.
  • What gets between two people in a relationship.
  • The difference between what we can control and what we can’t control in a relationship.
  • What we think creates how we feel in relationships vs. what actually creates how we feel in our relationships.
  • Why we end up trying to control the other person’s behavior.
  • What relationships are dependent on and why that’s the best news ever.
  • How one person has the power to change any relationship.
  • Why we don’t have to depend on our partner to meet our needs and desires for us to feel the way we want to feel.
  • What actually happens when we withhold love.
  • Examples of what can happen for *us* when we think the other person doesn’t care / when we don’t see ourselves as equal.
  • The importance of meeting ourselves with curiosity and compassion.
  • Where to go from here.
  • And more!


Transcript (with Screen Shots): Google Drive Document



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