I went to an event earlier this month that touched me in a really powerful way.
It was a networking event, and another life coach spoke on setting goals and putting plans into action.
My biggest take-away from her speech was this:
YOUR ONLY JOB IS TO GET REALLY CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.
It was a such a good reminder to me about how simple it is to create a life we love – as simple as asking ourselves “What do I want?” and “What would I love?!” and then coming from that place as we move forward and take action in our lives.
Of course, just because something is simple doesn’t mean it’s easy.
If you identify as a people pleaser and perfectionist, chances are that you tend to experience a lot of guilt and shame when it comes to wanting.
It wasn’t always this way, of course.
As kids, we all lived with our hearts wide open. We knew what we wanted and we communicated that, though perhaps not always in a way preferred by the adults in our lives. 😉 Lol.
But then, as time went on, we adopted beliefs, fears, culture, experience, and so on that got in the way of wanting being easy for us.
Here’s some examples of things we may believe about wanting:
1️⃣ Wanting is scary. There’s no guarantee I’ll get what I want or be able to make it happen.
2️⃣ I shouldn’t want.
… Wanting is “selfish.”
… Wanting is indulgent or “childish.”
… Wanting is ungrateful. I should be more grateful for what I have.
3️⃣ If I want something, I need to be able to justify it somehow.
4️⃣ I never get what I want.
5️⃣ I don’t know what I want.
These limiting beliefs can keep us from wanting or make it hard for us to want.
When we clear out the beliefs we have about wanting that aren’t helping us, we open the door for being able to want more, which leads to us creating more of what we want in our lives. And who doesn’t want that?!
This process also helps us connect more with ourselves and our own hearts. In my opinion, that’s all any of us really wants, anyways. Everything comes back to how we feel.
But I digress.
For now, I want you to take away just one simple thing – and that is this…
“An important part of having what we want is knowing what we want and learning to want. Wanting is the magic!!” – Molly Claire
Let’s repeat that last bit…
WANTING is the magic.
When we create our lives from a place of being grounded and centered in what we truly want – that’s when we have alignment and steady momentum to move us forward.
That’s when we create what we WANT in our lives.
I can’t wait to share more with you on this topic. Until then, notice how you feel about wanting.
What comes up for you?
I’d love to hear.
Do you struggle with wanting? With knowing what you want, or doing what you want, or feeling like you should or shouldn’t want this or that?
I know the struggle. My brain on default leans toward perfectionist and people pleasing mindsets that having me doing things I think I should want… and then beating myself up for not doing them. Which is why it is so important for me to be the watcher of my brain and decide on purpose who I want to be and how I want to show up in my life.
Coaching has transformed my life because I have tools (and coaches!!) to support me in getting clarity about what I want, to connect with myself more – my own heart and my own voice, and to unpack all the guilt and shame that gets in the way of me being able to align with and do what it is that I really want to do. To want what I want and really give myself permission to be all in on that.
I LITERALLY physically made myself sick last year working through some of these mindsets. I was sick more last year than I have been in YEARS before that. It was not always easy. But dang, was it worth it. My growth has been explosive the past year (and even just the past month!!).
I love my life so much more than I even did before.
Course that doesn’t mean I love every little thing in my life 100%. But I keep raising the water level of where my average vibe lies.
Working with coaches I love has made all the difference. I get coached at a minimum of twice a week (sometimes more!!) and I do my own coaching.
I used to think change takes forever… turns out that was only the only case when I believed I needed to be able to figure it out all on my own… too ashamed to ask for help.
Having outside, loving perspective is powerful.
If you relate to any of this, please know that you do not need to figure it out all on your own.
Your “secrets” are not shameful, and neither are you. And, it is SO. MUCH. MORE. FUN. to make the changes you want when you don’t have to do it all alone and when you are working with a coach (or two!) you love (or any other person you choose to help support you!!).
Would you love to work with me?!
Chances are I’d love to work with you, too. 😉
There is no way to no for sure if we’re a fit without getting on a call to talk about what you want and how I can help you – and answer any questions you have.
Take the first step. Move through that fear. Give yourself the gift of support beyond yourself.
All the love and joy you crave starts in creating a magnetic relationship with YOURSELF.
Of course, it doesn’t end there. The more you trust you have your own back and know that nobody can hurt you emotionally but you… the more you realize you can handle any emotion… the more you LOVE being in your own body… the more you are willing to put yourself out there to do the “scary” things, and the more you can open your heart to the world and express yourself in the way you most deeply desire.
Start with YOU. So you can connect with and follow your own heart. Whatever that looks like for YOU.
“It takes courage to grow up and be who you REALLY are.” E.E. Cummings.
That’s been one of my favorite quotes for years.
We’re always going to have fears. Courage helps us move through them and act from what we WANT instead of from what we fear.
And, when we act from what we WANT… we create what we want.
It feels like magic, but it’s not. 😉
When you’re ready, book a free consult here: bookme.name/coachingwithdeise/free-consult.
See you there!!